Polygamy and patriarchy

(2nd in a 2-part series)
By Jeff Warren
Thursday, June 05, 2008

Last week we delved into that shady world which is known affectionately as “Polygamy.” It seems so quaint — women dressed in gingham and calico, hair pulled back — well mannered and poised. The men — hard working — self-reliant folks who mind their own business. These sects tend live communally, in isolation — not bothering anybody — unless you are a child.Does our government have any legitimate interest in their activities? Doesn’t the First Amendment guarantee freedom of religion? Who are we to divine the difference between a religion and a cult? (Some think Catholicism is an evil cult).The Mormon Church disavowed polygamy over a hundred years ago, in 1890. So it’s not about them.The cult busted in Texas has more in common with Jim Jones, Charlie Manson, David Koresh (and my favorite) Warren Jeffs than Joseph Smith.
There’s a theme here which isn’t confined to American extremists. It stretches from Bangladesh to Baghdad.It revolves around Messianic leaders who conveniently end up with multiple sex partners — often wives or children of other followers.It is patriarchy in extremis.Like most of the world, America has always been patriarchal. America’s “little ladies” couldn’t vote until the 19th amendment in 1920.In the ’40s “Bogie” could crow, “I never met a dame who didn’t understand a slap in the face or slug from a .45.” Not sure my daughters or wife would agree today.Radical feminists may have done more to destroy families than liberate women, but they did help to focus attention on inequalities which needed fixing.Would anyone really want to go back to Harriet waiting patiently by the door, martini in hand, as Ozzie came home from the office he never seemed to go to? On second thought ...Let’s review the bidding. Men figured it out a long time ago — might makes right. Absent the rule of law the strongest cat on the block, king in his castle, or nomad in his tent — rules.He gets the bounty from the harvest — the spoils of war — and of course the women of his choosing — at the age he wants them. Manson, Koresh, Jeffs and that bunch figured that out early on. So have warlords the world over. Wherever tribal law prevails (the literal law of the jungle) the strongest man gets first dibs — on everything.When you can convince people that your god (call him Yahweh, Jehovah, Huitzilopochtile, or Allah) has told you directly that female obedience to your every whim is her surest ticket to heaven, you’ve got a good thing going.Our courts just ruled that those Texas children should be returned to their families. There’s suspicion of statutory rape, but apparently no solid evidence — as though brainwashed 13-year-olds could plead their case.Interestingly, the attention is all on the young girls who are forced to marry older men. Few ask the question: What happens to the boys?We know young teens are more interested in other teens than old men. So what do the old men do to keep the boys in line? What they have done for thousands of years. And it ain’t pretty.Each year, hundreds of boys are excommunicated and abandoned on city streets to fend for themselves. “Culling the herd” allows the elders to eliminate competition and keep the crop of eligible young girls to themselves.The excommunicated boys are the lucky ones. You don’t want to know what happens to the ones left behind. There’s a reason they know their place. Google Brent Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ nephew for one kid’s view of what happens — all because his uncle’s “God” commands it.The government knows it’s walking a thin line trying to bring the rule of law to an outdated tribal society — a cult where innocent children have no choice. But what is it to do in the face of child enslavement? What we do best — look the other way.Extreme patriarchy is what is going on in Iraq and much of the world, today. We turn a blind eye, for many reasons. One, it’s probably insolvable — certainly in our lifetime. Two, maybe it’s none of our business. Maybe Sharia law is better than ours?If the majority of the people in other parts of the world want to enslave woman, brutalize children, consolidate power in a few tribal leaders — who are we to impose our “liberal democracy” upon them?After all, we turned that same blind eye while 1.6 million Tutsis were hacked to death over a three-month period by some angry Hutus.What makes Americans right? Maybe we’re the ones who haven’t got a clue.Invading countries to impose one’s will upon them is not copacetic — some say evil. Still, women’s rights, gender equity, defending defenseless children, the rule of law, an independent judiciary, and representative democracy — if one’s going to commit evil acts — succoring the helpless can’t be one of the worst of them.The invasion of Iraq didn’t happen overnight, or under Bush’s watch. It’s been percolating for 50 years. It was never about the oil. Every educated man and woman knows that unless we can break the cycle — unless we can bring democracy and the rule of law to violently patriarchal societies, eventually we are going to get hurt too. Arrogant? Of course. Freedom is not relative. Some truths are more right than others.Would I sacrifice my kid for these principles in a far off land? No. But I’m in awe of families that are willing to do so.Perhaps it is truly none of our business. But if you think children are treated badly in Colorado City — imagine Sadr City.(Jeff Warren is a newcomer whose family didn’t arrive here until the ‘50s. He is a businessman, husband and father of three. He can be reached by e-mail at jeff@jeffwarren.com.)